Tuesday, 2 November 2010

If only they realised what sort of evil powers were at work...

There is a dark lord plotting his evil plans. He goes by the name Cowell. That is...
He is very cleverly scheming to take over the world, slowly and slyly without anyone realising.
And he is succeeding. Oh yes, he is. He has a massive entrepreneurial enterprise.
He is a British fellow-although, it shames me to admit this. He placed his base in the UK, and started his massive business. No one had predicted how big his business would become. But big, it did become. Immensely big. And so, he made another base in America, and in countries all around the world.

Picture it. You're in Britain. It's cold and rainy Saturday, and everyone's indoors in front of the TV. Unfortunately, it is Autumn. And do you know what that means? Every Autumn right through to Christmas... a horrible, slimy thing, creeps onto the television sets of vulnerable Britons in the form of....


This show has immense power.You cannot even begin to comprehend how powerful it is. Millions of people turn up to watch at times. 8 million to be precise. And that's if it's not the results show. There are only so many people in Britain you know. And every year, there is a winner, who sings a soppy ballad and nomatter how out of tune he is or how much everyone hates the song, it is ALWAYS, ALWAYS number one in the Top 40.

And every year, the magazines plaster pages upon pages with fictous stories about the X factor, and everything X factor related. Everywhere you go, everywhere you turn, there's always something to do with the X Factor. You can never, ever escape it, and you will never, ever escape it, even if you hide under your bed, and say you're never coming out. The judges faces' are on your shampoo bottles.You search in the newspapers for information on the recent floods in Pakistan, but no, all you find is an article telling you one of the x factor contestants is being deported because her Visa has expired or something like that. When so, so, so many inncoent people get deported every day, but no one even cares about them. 

Let me tell you a little story.
There was once a little girl  with a monobrow, frizzy hair and very disgusting teeth. She was a rough girl, who was always getting in fights. She worked as a waitress in a bar. She decided to try her luck oneday, and entered in a band competion. She couldn't really sing, but that was alright, she only had to stumble through a verse at most. Luckliy, her group won, as they showed their bums the most. She got her teeth fixed with some surgery, waxed her monobrow and got a hair stylist. After that, she married a footballer. Still, she was nothing special. No one really noticed her.
She worked as a judge on the X Factor.
And now...

Do you understand yet how powerful this show is?

Every year...every single year...I have to put up with this horror. I have to sit and cry as it slowly crushes the music industry. Because this...this is fast food music at it's absolute worst.

Musicians are hard working people. They have to spend ages performing at dodgy bars and get a part time job as a cleaner before they make it big. And everyday, they have to worry about paying bills, and about whether or not they should have stayed in school and become something sensible, instead of being in a band and not earning enough for their family. They stay up all night writing songs, they get guitar calluses. They have to work very, very, very hard. And in the end, it's very likely they'll die and no one will remember them.

But the people on the X factor simply appear...in all their cockiness, they just appear...and get voted in depending on looks and popularity rather than talent. And then, some stupid sod wins, and sings a song someone else has written, and it becomes number one.
Just like that. Instant fame. Instant success. Instant pleasure for the 'public'. Instant food. Or, rather, fast food.

The fluffy teenage girls vote for the young teenage boys that they're madly crushing on. (there's always, always one, this year it's this soppy thing called One Direction). The others who think they're being different, vote for the pretty girl they wish they could be. And the old ladies vote for the cheeky charmer they wish was their husband.

Picture it. It's a Monday morning in rainy London. You walk into school. You are instantly attacked by mad girls shrieking ,"OMG, OMG, did you watch the X factor, it was soooo good!" and "Oh, Rihanna's performance was so good, but Bon Jovi just ruined it all...ugh I hate rock music" and "Oh my God, I think Cher should win, she is sooo good. But I don't like that guy with red hair...he's butterz (London slang for ugly)"

You calmly tell them you don't watch the X factor. They stare at you in disgust, and quickly move away. You're not 'cool'. You have nothing to talk to any of them about, you're quickly excluded from the conversation.
You pick up the Metro that someone's left lying around. You soon regret it. It's stuffed full of X factor articles. Nevermind the war in Sri Lanka that no one knows about.Because Sri Lanka's not as interesting as the X factor. No, it's more interesting to read about how so and so missed a note in their song, or how someone else is wearing a hideous outfit.
You go to assembly, hoping you can escape it all. No. The head teacher is giving a speech about the X factor, and talking about how we should think about other things as well as TV. Yes, well how can we forget about the X factor if you keep on mentioning it?
Throughout the whole day...the teachers...people in the hallway...the receptionist...they're all talking about the X factor.

WHY?! Why does no one realise what a bloody SCAM this all is?! Simon Cowell is a dark lord at work here, he is earning billions of pounds, at your expense, every time you buy an X factor record or vote for someone on the show, you give him more money. Cowell is ruthless. He doesn't care if he ruins the music industry, he doesn't care as long as he gets his money. To be truthful, the X factor is more about the judges than the actual performers. Ooh, what is Cheryl Cole wearing? Ooooh, don't you think Simon was a bit harsh.All the faux bickering going on between the judges. Someone is always 'headed to the final' or 'deserves to be in the competition'. To be honest, I think Simon Cowell is vain, and wants the show to be all about him, which is why he is always thinking of new , cruel comments to give to the contestants. He knows it's only going to get him attention. 'You sounded like cats trapped in a bag.' Ok Cowell. You've had your fun. You're world famous from Tokyo to New York. You earn about $90 million a year (yes, I didn't believe it either) When will you stop? Exactly. When he controls the world.

Never mind Cowell. What about the music industry being corrupted? Well, no need to worry. This fast food music...some of the winners are forgotten and never remembered. Four out of six of the winners so far have been forgotten after a couple years. Leona Lewis and Alexandra Burke are the only remembered ones. And you have got to admit, this is all very impressive considering all the hype that went on when they were on the show. So, why are they all forgotten so quickly?

Well, sadly, it's not because the public's music taste has improved. No, with the media, the general public will never improve their music taste. The reason that they're forgotten so quickly is because, like I said before, this is fast food music. Instant gratification, no staying power. Next year, there's a new winner, and everyone forgets the old one. The same happens every year.

Most of my readers here are from America, and so they won't be familiar with the X factor. Well, I'm sure you've gathered it's like your 'American Idol'. By Cowell as well, as I'm sure you know. I don't watch the American Idol, so I don't know if the winners have staying power or are forgotten. But I'm sure it's pretty much the same.

Once...some time ago...my friends were trying to persuade me to go on the X factor.  Yes, you heard right. They thought I had a nice voice (bah is all I have to say). But regardless, I'm glad I didn't go. If I ever do make it in the music industry (and that is if I did decide to )I don't want to be an act everyone forgets about in a couple of years time. I want to be an act that people remember years after I die, I want everyone to still be singing my songs years after I die.
Thank you very much, but I do not want to be another burger lying in the bin.

Thanks for reading. Please do leave a comment :D


  1. American Idol is JUST like X Factor! There are people who deserve to win that get voted off for the popular one (or who the judges have prechosen from the get-go *ahem* Fantasia)
    There have been a few winners that go on to be VERY popular and have stayed popular. There are just as many who went on to fame and fortune that didn't win. I am more proud of those people.
    I stopped watching American Idol after Fantasia won. That girl did NOT need to win. I am sorry to say that she won because she was black. If you pay attention to what the judges say during interviews they tell you the winner before you get anywhere near the finals. I bet that is the same for the X Factor. We have had a male winner because the judges said it was a mans year. We had a country girl win because the rest were all rockers or pop princesses.
    But I think you get my drift.

  2. Hello Miss Mac and thank you for the comment :D
    Yes, I remember when I did watch the X factor, getting incredibly frustrated halfway through because all my favourite acts had gone. Yes, sadly, shows like American Idol and the X factor are completely to do with popularity, and not so much to do with talent.
    Yes, I guess maybe it is slightly different with American Idol, in that the winners have better staying power. Although I have noticed that as we go on, the winners' staying power has increased massively. Shows like this are becoming more and more popular than they already are, if you can believe that.
    And yes, I know what you mean when you say that you had a male winner because it was a mans year. I wouldn't mind so much if shows like this were actually about talent, however, let's be honest:they're not.

  3. Ooooh I really HATE this kind of Tv programs!!
    in spain there is a X factor too... and it's horrible, all the singers are forgotten the day after... TT and in spain there is a kind of american Idol too called "OperaciĆ³n Triunfo"... and is a fuckin' shit... the worst is that the people (mainly the silly teen girls of the same age that I) are obsessed with it!
    Very good blog, seriously, I LOVE it!

  4. I know!I don't understand why people have such an obsession with shows like this. They don't realise the're being exploited!
    Thanks a lot, I like your blog too :D

  5. It's quite entertaining how you realized all these and people your age normally don't. It's good. You've got more sense that any 15-16yrs old I know. Wait, you're in that age range right? LOL

    u know what, i used to think that X factor is a show about where people are being challenged to face or do the things they fear. I just actually found out that its much more alike with AI. So I'm thinking it's a lame show too. Leona Lewis kind of disappeared in the US now though. Or maybe its just me because I don't really care about the kind of music she makes. But she got a beautiful voice I have got to admit.

    we ought to have a plot to kill SC!! lol but seriously, is he planning on ruling the world by creating these shows that actually promotes music that are so generic so...the same?? If the people would start making sense, they should know better than watch these nonsense show. These shows kind of like encourage the kids these days that the only way to make it to the music industry is by auditioning, make fun of yourself in front of the whole world, change yourself, then embarass your whole dignity by letting the people choose if you really deserve to be a musician - NO, just plain NO!

    why can't they understand this is all wrong?!?!!!

    i salute you for having a strong will and respect of yourself that you did not give in to your friends who wanted you to audition. you're a role model!
    if you ever do choose a career in music, you got me to support you!!! ;D

  6. Thank you :D I'm 14, fifteen in December, so you it was quite a good guess.

    LOL, ha (you do not realise how much you made me laugh there)! I guess the X factor does sound like a show where people are challenged to face the things they fear, come to think of it. But really, it's nowhere near as exciting as that. Leona Lewis was probably the most talented thing to come out of that show. She does have an amazing voice, although she's not just 'an ordinary girl who became lucky' as everyone makes out. She had been working up to it for a long time. She got singing lessons from an early age, and went to a famous Performing Arts School, and basically everyone who leaves that school becomes famous. Anyway, I have nothing against HER it's just the whole show itself that really annoys me...

    HA, killing Simon Cowell would be very funny (I have a dark sense of humour) although it would be very hard, you've seen his massive body guard haven't you? Whenever anyone gets violent on the show, he takes them out.

    Thank you for the salute, lol. Although you're flattering me, I am NOT so much a role model, ha, but thank you very much. And thank you for your support, I can't tell you how much it means to me ^_^
    Peace :)

  7. This is a brilliant post! Loved it! I agree with you too....AI is just WRONG on every level.

  8. wow, 14! you're a role model to me! 14 year old nowadays all they know is that twig we talked about before. they call her sound music. oh god help us. oh yeah, i've heard her story somewhere. she did worked hard but the one thing that got stuck to me when i heard her story is the SC bought her a house in hollywood, was it? so pretty much Cowell, killed it all. lol i admire her voice and i got nothing against her too its just that her image is now eh for me cuz of the X factor and Cowell. so let's blame him again. but then again, without the show we wouldn't know about her.

    seriously, that's what i thought the show was about. cracked you up! lmao. and no i haven't seen his body guards as i haven't seen any of the shows but its not that hard to imagine..

    at 14, you know all these. you're going far. just please, please, please don't ever change your point of view about music. and keep going with the singing

  9. Thanks Barbara, I appreciate you stopping by again :)
    And to E.T's gravity, thanks , though I can't really be a role model to you. You and people like Barbara are more like role models to me. It's quite stupid, I have a rock music blog and I truthfully don't know that much about rock music itself. All I know is that I adore rock music, it makes me feel a sense of happiness that most pop songs don't.

    SIMON COWELL BOUGHT HER A HOUSE IN HOLLYWOOD?! Wow! Lol, I honestly feel quite bad for blaming Simon Cowell so much , but he really is in the heart of all of this.

    And thank you a lot E.T's gravity for saying all these really nice things about me, but really, I'm not as special as you're making out :) But I'll definitely carry on with the singing.

  10. what brilliant insight you have put into this stunning article. You definitely have it right that music is being turned into fast food. I was fortunate to be a teenager in the 60's living in Los Angeles and I saw all of the greats such as the Beatles, the rolling stones, the Animals, Jimi Hendrix,and the Byrds to name a few of the many. They didn't have elaborate sound systems and they did not lip synch, Nor did they do some fancy pyrotechnics or have a fancy dance group behind them, they just did their music and we enjoyed being there.

    I am happy to see someone appreciate these Greats of music. I have written several articles about music and those that I have seen if you like you can read about them on my website. I have never let go of what was fabulous and you young lady are exceptional and I'm glad I found your site today.

    Keep on rocking,
    Cherokee Billie

  11. Thank you very much for your comment cherokebillie. Oh, I wish I was lucky enough to have been born in the 60s :) Or at least the 70s. Todays music is a lot more disappointing.

    I've taken a look at your website, and it looks very good, I'll definitely be stopping by your blog often. Your articles are funny and interesting, and I love your tone. Sorry, I haven't had a chance to leave any comments yet, but I will when I have the time.

    Once again, thank you very much for stopping by :D, and you sound like a fabulous person too.
    Peace x


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